


The Golden Apple

by buying_the_space_farm



Series: Immortality Can't Fix Everything [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Ah yes my favorite tag, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, FrostIron - Freeform, Frostiron Reverse!Bang, Hurt/Comfort, I swear, Loki Feels, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, Tony Stark Feels, and a sequel, i have so much background info in my head about this story, im gonna have to write a prequel one day, my first fic in this ship and i am mighty proud, perspective changes, they always come back to bite you in the ass apparently, those god damned golden apples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-09 10:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10409703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buying_the_space_farm/pseuds/buying_the_space_farm
Summary: Prompt: "Offering someone mortal a golden apple, wasn’t just offering them immortality, it was synonymous with asking them to spend eternity together, which was basically a marriage proposal and a question to become a family in one go. Which yeah, someone should have told Tony that. Loki totally failed to mention it, thinking it was common knowledge. Tony just thought that it was a weird gift of art decoration. It was a fucking golden apple, it didn’t look like something to eat, he wasn’t all that informed or interested into myths, how was he supposed to know that having the apple sit prettily on his desk and not eating it just showed a painful and long indecision akin to rejection to everyone who knew what the offering of an golden apple actually meant?"Tony had honestly thought everything was fine.So why was Loki acting so strange after giving him that apple?





	1. In Which Tony Is Oblivious

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JojaEvanslock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JojaEvanslock/gifts), [Nonexistenz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonexistenz/gifts).



> Thank you Nonexistenz ([tumblr](http://nonexistenz.tumblr.com/), [ao3](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonexistenz/pseuds/Nonexistenz)) for the awesome prompt! Pretty obviously, this story wouldn't be here without you  
> Links to art:  
> [tumblr](http://nonexistenz.tumblr.com/post/159728352057)  
> [AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10601100)
> 
> disclaimer, bc Marvel:  
> Marvel ain't mine, Tony Stark isn't either, bc if he was, he would be much happier, with comfy things, and hot coffee all the time, and have perfectly running computer systems. Loki would also be a better developed character. And not just a penny press villain.
> 
> ANYWAY! Hope y'all enjoy this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wonderful artist made me a cover for this! I love it, and them, and the entire reverse!bang pretty much.  
> Without my artist and the bang, I don't really think I would have gotten back into writing, and that would have been an atrocity.  
> [](http://imgur.com/4OUphgT)

“I want you to have this.”

Tony startled, and glanced up from his workbench. He was only slightly surprised at the fact that he hadn't heard Loki arrive, even he thought he’d upgraded  J.A.R.V.I.S.’ well enough to finally be able to pick up the energy signatures of the magic. Apparently not.

“Have what?”  Tony asked, his confusion evident even to himself.

“Oh!” Loki said, sounding nervous. He drew the object from one of his many pocket dimensions, and presented it to Tony.

The apple was small, round, golden, and more beautiful than anything he had ever seen in his life, and that was saying a lot. When he took it and drew it closer to continue to study it, he could see that there were pores all over the surface, lifelike even in that miniscule detail.

“Loki, the golden apple, it’s… beautiful, really. Thank you.” Tony didn’t quite know why Loki had felt the urge to give him yet more objects to clutter his life up with, when he could also literally buy almost anything, but the sentiment behind the action was evident.

“You’re welcome,” Loki replied. He looked almost expectant, but Tony couldn’t for the life of him figure out why.

“Ah, well, was there…. anything else?” Tony asked, and he felt awkward for one of the first times since the beginning of their relationship.

In fact, it had been almost a year, and they may have talked about the far off future, but never really discussed long term commitment. _Maybe it was time for a change in that department_ , Tony speculated. _After all, I know I’m ready to commit. I just have to make that plain now._

A wave of disappointment flickered across Loki’s face before disappearing just as quickly. “No. I’ll,” he paused and took a deep breath, “leave you to your work again.”

And so he vanished just as silently as he had appeared. Tony sighed, and then swore softly under his breath. At least this time Loki hadn’t set off dozens of alarms and caused every Shield agent in the tower to crawl out of the covert clockwork that they had managed to create. _Those_ occasions had been fun to straighten out.

Tony looked at the golden apple in his hand— it was surprisingly light for something that was apparently solid gold, maybe it was an Æsir alloy?— and decided; he was going to propose to Loki. The only question was now how he was going to do it.

“J.A.R.V.I.S.?” He called.

“Yes, sir?” J.A.R.V.I.S. replied.

“Open a new project file. Call it,” Tony paused for a moment. “Call it ‘Golden Apple.’”

* * *

 

Trying to figure out the perfect proposal gift for his would-be fiancé, who was also a god, was probably the biggest pain in the ass that Tony had ever experienced, and he had escaped from a cave in the desert in a suit made of metal scraps.

Staring dejectedly at the now full trash can of scrapped blueprints for any number of projects he could make for Loki, he then looked at the place of honour in his workshop: his desk, with the mysteriously light solid gold apple sitting on top of it, in plain view from all vantage points in the lab. He’d been at this for days, and still had no idea what to do.

What could he possibly make for a _god_?

_A tool that would befit one_ , he thought. And inspiration struck.

Through the many battles that Tony and Loki had fought in, both against  one another and together, he had noticed that Loki much preferred the weapons that allowed him a longer range, especially throwing knives, staves, and spears. Ever since Loki had joined SHIELD they had been… reluctant to give him what he wanted, even while being in a relationship with Tony. They were especially reluctant to give him spears, for obvious reasons.

So that’s what Tony would make— a kick-ass staff that could also possibly serve as a magical conduit like the one that Loki had used in the New York invasion. He would definitely be running some tests to see what alloy would be the best option.

Tony set to work; and not work as in make his bots do it, but with his own two hands and the custom forge that had been built into one of the walls of his workshop in Stark Tower.

In a matter of hours he had finalized blueprints, and in a week, he had materials. Now all that Tony needed was a few weeks of effort and he just might be able to propose to Loki and get a ‘yes’. After some lengthy convincing and, of course, the engagement gift.

Then, _somehow_ , problems began to arise. Loki was in the lab almost constantly for a few weeks, but then his visits dropped off drastically. He would appear in the lab, glance around— especially around his desk— and then disappear for hours on end, only to come back from wherever he had gone despondent and— could Tony dare to call it moody? It was strange to say the least, and not at all how Loki had acted within the past year, or even in the past few months.

Everything had been fine though, hadn’t it? Tony honestly didn’t know what to do, and that had taken some major emotional growth to be able to realize _._ Admitting it to another person would still take a little bit of time. Hopefully till as long as it took to complete the staff.

Maybe. He still wasn’t quite sure. Emotional growth wasn’t his strong suit at the best of times, and right now was most certainly not one of the stress free times of his life. He never could manage to get one of those it seemed, no matter how hard he tried.

Tony worked tirelessly on the staff, half to finish it quickly and half to avoid Loki, and when he was nearly finished, he started to think at last about how he should possible ask Loki to marry him— especially since they hadn’t even talked about further commitments beyond exclusivity. He still didn’t know by the time he finished.

It was a thing of beauty and Tony thought he might have actually put just as much effort into the aesthetics of the weapon as in the functionality— and that had certainly taken some thinking to figure out the best materials and what the balance would need to be like and—

Once Tony’s brain calmed down enough to think about aesthetics though, it was— beautiful.

Of course, he might have been at least a _little_ bit biased, due to it being his creation, but nonetheless, it was still plenty kick-ass to make up for any deficiencies in looks. Gold titanium alloy of course— something that both he and Loki could agree on how useful it was. It was shown to be at least four times as strong as most steels and was golden as well— what wasn’t there to like? He had even added some scroll work along the ends, so as to appeal to Loki’s sense of style, while still appealing to his own need for streamlined efficiency— when it came to weapons that is. Tony wasn’t always so interested in efficiency, especially when it came to, ahem, _certain_ things. The staff was almost as tall as himself, topping off at around 71 cm, and it would still make an efficient weapon at close and far range, was an excellent magical conductor.

Everything about it was perfect.

Now, he just needed to propose. To Loki. And hopefully all would go well.

Most likely it would, though Tony still decided to get at least some of his affairs in order— nothing like reading all the signals from a God of Lies wrong to make for a bloody murder.

“Anthony.”

Tony turned to face the middle of the room and grinned broadly, it felt like it had been days since Loki had last popped into the workshop— shit, the workshop! Which they were both in! With the staff, which was _supposed to be a surprise._

The grin quickly fell off of his face as he scrambled to cover up his just-finished project, and Tony yelped out, “What are you doing in here?”

Loki’s expression was closed off, but he looked haggard nonetheless. One would think that he hadn’t slept for days, or even weeks. It wouldn’t have been surprising in the past, but now— Tony had thought they were both getting better about taking care of themselves.

Tony was still somehow managing to hide the staff behind him, even with Loki _right there_. He decided to ask the obvious question— “What’s wrong?”

Loki bit his lip, and looked away towards the far corner of the room— the room that was the physical manifestation of Tony Stark’s mind. “I’ve come for an answer.”

Tony was obviously immediately confused. Did Loki somehow find out about the staff? But then— what did he mean about getting an answer? If anyone was going to get an answer, it would have to be Tony, right?

“Um…” Was Tony’s eloquent reply.

“Are you going to tell me?” Loki snapped, his eyes flashing, even through his fatigue.

“Tell you what?” Bewildered, Tony wondered again if Loki had somehow found out about the proposal gift he had actually managed to hide— albeit not well if Loki had come here about that.

Loki drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes, apparently preparing himself. “I’ve come to ask for your response— is it yes or no? It’s been weeks since I— since I proposed.”

“As um, as in, as in marriage?” Tony asked. He heard himself, and even to his own ears, he sounded beyond frightened, and edging into hysteria. “Um. I— I, uh— I don’t remember that?” This really was some entirely new information. He was pretty damn sure he’d remember the love of his life proposing. Maybe, maybe he’d been drunk enough to forget about it? But no, Tony hadn’t gotten that drunk in ages, since he and Loki had gotten together really. So what the hell was Loki talking about?

“Yes as in marriage, what else exactly is there to propose?” Loki challenged. “As I said, I asked you weeks ago.”

“Um… the only thing it’s been weeks since,” Tony counted to himself how many days and weeks it had been since Loki did anything major, “is when you gave me the golden apple.”

Loki twitched an eyebrow upwards, as if to emphasize how utterly unimpressed he was with Tony’s basic math skills.

“Oh,” Tony had finally realized. “Oh shit.”

Loki closed his eyes. “Quite.”

Then he disappeared.

A beat, and then Tony began swearing. A lot.

* * *

 

Tony decided that it was time for some recon— specifically in search of knowledge on ‘golden apples.’

Going to the only god in residence for the moment— and Tony had checked— was a risk that he was willing to take for now. Tony knew Thor was perfectly alright with he and Loki being together, but going to a partner’s relative for relationship advice had always rubbed him the wrong way. Unless Thor decided to scare him out of his mind or if Loki decided to show up once again and explain himself, then advice from a relative was the only option.

As Tony descended in the elevator towards Thor’s floor, he looked at the apple that had started this whole mess. It sat innocently in his hand, and he still wasn’t sure if it was even necessary for this endeavor. Yet there it was, mocking in all its beauty. How could something so simple be rife with meaning? Tony sure as hell didn't know.

The doors opened and it was probably going to be time for one of the most epic shovel talks Tony had ever experienced.

“Hey, Thor,” Tony hesitated, “can I ask you some questions about a few Æsir things? Specifically about golden apples?”

“Anthony!” Thor boomed. He walked over and moved to embrace Tony “Why, yes, you may always do so! I wondered when you would come to ask about the culture that you would soon be joining. Loki isn't the most optimistic about our society and I’ve been very excited to welcome you to the family for quite some time now.”

Tony squirmed away, squinted at him and then asked, “Did you know then, that Loki had given me one?”

“But of course,” Thor responded. “He actually asked for my assistance in getting one for you. Odin almost certainly wouldn’t have given him one on his own.” He looked abashed for a moment. “We may have actually taken it without express permission. We didn’t break in anywhere of course, Mother was quite eager to help us.”

Tony took a step back from Thor, and with his free hand pinched the bridge of his nose. “I'm not even going to touch that last bit because of the can of worms that it will open, but you, what, didn’t think to explain exactly what it was to me?”

Tony almost felt bad for the look that he got— Thor could pull off one hell of a wounded puppy expression, head tilt and all.

“No, I didn't, Anthony. Loki was supposed to have told you long ago, before even giving it to you, in case you didn't know what it was. Even so, he said you knew what it was, before he could say a word about it.”

Tony looked back down at the apple once again. “All I said was that the golden apple was beau-” In a moment of clarity, realization dawned. “Well, shit. I have no one to blame except myself.”

“Well, I wouldn’t maybe say that so judgmentally. There was a bit of confusion on your amount of knowledge-”

Tony interrupted with a wave of his hand. “Don’t even, Tho. What was I supposed to call it? A purple pineapple?”

Thor conceded this with a nod. “I’ll accept that point, Anthony.”

Tony scrubbed his hand down his face in despair. _This was one hell of a situation_ , he thought, _and it all would have been fixed by a bit of communication._ He’d known they’d had some issues discussing things, for example, _long term commitment_ , but Tony hadn’t known they were this bad.

“Alright Thor,” Tony said on a sigh. “Can you give me an in depth explanation of what a golden apple is?” He asked, finally bringing the apple into plain view.

Tony was pretty damn sure it was going to be a hell of a long night.

* * *

 


	2. In Which Loki Has Way Too Many Self Esteem Issues

Loki wondered sometimes, how he had in fact fallen in love, and have it be reciprocated. Anthony was-

Anthony was amazing. He was electricity and fire and awe inspiring industry and efficiency. For Loki to have him all to himself was one of the larger mysteries of the universe. The multiverse really. (Even if in other realities, several in fact, this same thing happened.)

This— it was possibly a step in the right direction, when it came to situating himself further into the good graces of the fellow Avengers. They were still, one could say,  _ edgy _ around him. Even though he had more than proven himself, what with the “minor” apocalypse hat he had helped to avert.

That was neither here nor there though, and Loki could feel himself becoming frustrated about this when he should, in fact, be concentrating on one of the most dangerous things he’d ever done in his thousand year life— asking Anthony to live with him for the rest of their days. It was risky, no matter how one thought about it. Whether it would have been for the barely 30 years they would have gotten together if Loki had never thought of this, or for the millenia that they could now possibly spend together.

One of the coveted things of the gods, spanning across pantheons— the fruit that could grant thousands of more years onto a life time, be it human, or god. And here Loki sat with one in his pocket, waiting for a perfect moment to ask for Anthony’s hand in— in eternity, Loki supposed. Till they were both so old they could hardly remember a time when they weren’t apart. It was both terrifying and heady, a twin sensation that Loki wasn’t quite used to.

On the day that Loki had finally chosen as either the first wonderful day of the rest of his life, or as the sad and lonely ending to it, he glanced at the clock in the bedroom that he shared with Anthony. It was time to face the possibility of disaster.

Loki materialized into the room, having once again bypassed J.A.R.V.I.S.’ protocols, a game that had slowly developed between himself and the AI.

“Anthony?” He called. Anthony didn’t even glance away from the holographic display embedded in his work space. “Anthony?”

Loki glared at the sensor in the corner of the room, where he could practically see J.A.R.V.I.S. smirking at him. It was an unpleasant sensation. He took a cleansing breath and stepped closer to his lover. Gesturing for him to turn down the music, Loki said, “I want you to have this.”

Anthony finally glanced up, with a look of mild shock in his eyes, and looked around. “Have what?”

Loki wanted in that moment, to absolutely die of embarrassment. Just, cease to exist really. “Oh, ah, yes.” He reached into a nearby pocket dimension and extracted his prize— the golden apple.

That he still didn’t quite know if Anthony knew the significance was.

When Loki gave it to his (hopefully) intended, the reaction was a bit of a— well, it was a bit of a let down. All the reaction he got was a comment on the aesthetic of it, and a thank you. And a confirmation of  knowledge as to what it was.

Loki had never been certain if Anthony had decided to read up on Norse mythology, but this confirmed it. 

His lover had named the very object that Loki had pinned all his hopes on, like some kind of fool.

Loki whisked himself away once more, this time to his own workshop, on the floor that his beloved had given to him, all for his own use, at any time. It was full to the brim with technology, and books, and weapons and armour. A true blending of Æsir and Midgardian culture if Loki had ever seen one. In fact, he thought he had— between himself and Anthony.

Loki picked up a flask full of some liquid, unidentifiable at the moment in his grief, and threw it towards a wall at roaring speeds. 

In an explosion of liquid and glass, there was a moment where Loki felt alright. He could understand why some people turn to such acts as stress relief.

Another flask was thrown, and then another. A stool was hurled through the air to come to a sudden halt when it met a wall, collapsing into a metal heap on the floor. A room of chaos emerged, with Loki at the center. As always.

* * *

 

Once the chaos was over, it was fixed, quickly as ever. Magic was good for something it seemed, if for not giving some sign that his heart would be broken in the imminent future. Thinking that almost made Loki start throwing things again, and he could only barely stop himself.

What had it all been for? Loki wondered. What had he redeemed himself for, except for Anthony’s acceptance and love? Nothing.

_ Nothing. _ The word shivered down his spine, and he could feel an edge of panic creeping into his thoughts to cloud out the anger. What would he do if eventually Anthony decided enough was enough, ended Loki’s suffering once and for all, and gave him an unequivocal, an unchangeable  _ no _ ?

That thought was a terrifying one, and one that no one wanted to give voice to, in any form. The rejection from someone that held one’s heart in one’s hands was the single most awful thing that Loki could even comprehend, and he had been tortured hundreds of times across his lifetime, some of the worst of it being most recent.

To stop himself from once again destroying the entire room, Loki began pacing, back and forth, back and forth, thoughts racing, trying to grasp how this could have happened.

Maybe— maybe Thor could help? Somehow?

Only a year ago, Thor had told Jane Foster what the golden apple was, and offered one, but she had gracefully declined, stated her reasons, and walked away. Loki hadn’t understood how Thor could just let his love slip away like that, but his once-again-brother just stared wistfully into the distance and told him that he hoped he would never have to explain.

It seemed like that wish hadn’t come true, no matter how many people may have been wishing it.

Loki, now that he once more had a purpose, set off to fulfill, hoping all the while that there might yet be hope, that there might be some chance that Anthony might not leave him.

That the chance that Loki had given to the world such a short time ago might still be able to stand, for in the face of Loki’s sadness and rage it might fold like wet paper.

Descending towards Thor’s floor via the elevator, having decided that delaying the inevitable was Loki’s only hope at this moment, he thought about what his brother might say. None of the platitudes were very comforting.

The doors opened, and Loki— Loki wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to face the possibility that Anthony wasn’t in love with him anymore, or didn’t desire anything beyond a semi-committed relationship.

“Loki?” Thor called, from somewhere near the lounge area of his floor. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Anthony?”

Loki jumped, and it dawned on him that it was very possible he had been staring into space for an indeterminate amount of time. He blinked, finally stepped out of the elevator, and replied, “Apologies, Thor, but I— I need to talk to you. About. Personal matters.”

“Personal matters?” Thor repeated. “What types of personal matters?”

“Ones that you have more knowledge about, obviously,” Loki replied tersely. He could tell that his hackles were raising over inconsequential matters, but—  at this point, he couldn't help but let his emotions get the best of him.

Thor stepped into view and eyed his brother. “Brother, what is wrong? Should you not be happy? Did Anthony accept the apple?”

A grin tinged with bitterness graced Loki’s face at last, the only trace of emotion that had shown for the last hour. “One could say that in some capacity he did.”

Confusion seemed to be drawing Thor in once more, and Loki clarified. “He took it and thanked me for ‘the beautiful golden apple.’” He paused, then continued, sounding anguished. “Anthony knew what it was, Thor, and he— he did nothing. Just, he just took it, and then turned away from me.” Loki’s eyes glistened, and he went to wipe them away. “No, nevermind, Thor, this was the wrong choice, I’m— I need to go-” He turned to leave, but Thor caught up to him and pulled him into an embrace.

“Shh, Loki,” Thor soothed, “it’s going to be alright. Tell me what happened?”

“Let me go, you oaf,” Loki retorted, and while he was muffled against Thor’s bulk, his voice still sounded overwhelmed with strife.

“Not until you tell me all of what happened.”

They both knew very well just how slippery Loki could be if he didn’t want to be somewhere, so the fact that he stayed wrapped in his brother’s arms for comfort spoke more than Loki ever could hope to in this situation. More than anyone could, really.

So there they stood, for however long it took before the minute shivers that had coursed through Loki’s body to finally come to a stop.

“I’m— sorry, Thor. For-” Loki paused to gather his words once more— “for putting you on the spot like that.”

Thor finally let his brother go, and rested his hands on Loki’s shoulders. “Now will you tell me the entirety of what happened?”

“I did tell you,” Loki said on a sigh. “He— Anthony just— he accepted the apple with barely a glance, and then almost-” He broke off to breath and calm himself for a few moments. “He practically shooed me out of the room. He’s never done that before, Anthony always said my point of view helped.” 

Loki looked like he was going to start panicking once more, so Thor once again enfolded him into his arms. “Maybe-” he started— “maybe he was making something for you when you walked in?”

Loki sniffled and shook his head, still pressed tight against Thor’s chest. “Anthony was working on the same projects as yesterday and the day before. Nothing new, and I made sure to check with J.A.R.V.I.S. before I went in, just so I wouldn’t interrupt the first few stages of creation that he goes through.”

“There has to be some reason for this callous rejection, Loki.” Thor said. “Maybe you should… go talk to him about it?”

“And say what?” Loki snapped back, fire in his eyes and finally escaping Thor’s reach for good. “‘Oh, I’m sorry for needing clarification, but do you really care so little for me that rather than saying outright that you don’t want to join me for the rest of my life, you just let my offering wither in front of me?’”

“Loki-” his brother tried.

“No!” He spat. “I won’t face rejection and— and ridicule from the one person who I could never recover hearing it from.” Loki turned away, and marched towards the elevator. “Now, unless you have some real advice on the matter, I think I’ll just go. No need to end this any sooner than I’m actually ready for.”

* * *

 

Loki wondered constantly when Anthony would finally pull his heart directly out of his chest with a rejection.

It never came.

Sure, a certain level of avoidance was there, as was an aura of nervousness whenever Loki appeared in Anthony’s workshop, but no outright banishment from the room again. It was… strange.

[](http://imgur.com/Ayy4JoA)

At first Loki was in that room nearly every day for three weeks, just watching Anthony first work on what seemed to be an endless stream of scrapped blueprints— which he wouldn’t let Loki look at under any circumstances, even when he was clearly out of inspiration— and then when the muse did strike, came the times when Anthony was so tense that it rolled off of him in waves. Those were the times that Loki had to escape, even though all he wanted to do was spend as much time with him as was possible for as long as he could. Until— well. Until he was no longer wanted.

During those moments of anxious waiting, he spent hours pacing, or trying to read, or if it came to it, the rage and panic induced chaos that had first erupted in the face of the initial rejection. It was— it was not a good time for any projects that had happened to be in progress before tried to propose.

Loki always returned though, always returned to the penthouse that was now his home. In some respects, he still considered Asgard his home— to a certain extent at least— and he had, looked forward to introducing Anthony to it, and showing him the places he had liked to escape to as a child. The penthouse however, encompassed both their styles exquisitely.

Holding both tomes on science and magic, it was the most blended room between the two of them in the entire towed, even in their joint lab. It was their shared sanctuary, from whenever they couldn’t bear trying to slow themselves down for the sake of other people anymore. Now, it was a reminder to Loki that every day was one day closer to the end of an era, and one that he hadn’t wanted to end either.

It was a torture.

Five weeks after his initial proposal, and Loki had dealt with the suspense for long enough. He would demand an answer to finally put him out of his misery. He’d rather be told to go directly to his face, than be forced to slink away in the dead of night after calculated ostracizing.

It was— nerve wracking, trying to find the right time of day to finally confront Anthony. Too early and Loki would get the wide eyed confusion that followed his lover before his first cup of coffee, if he interrupted the middle of a working binge, who knew what brand of attention he would get— attention that was still half focused on some idea forming in the back of his mind, an iota of it when a difficult task was at hand, or again, the tired half attention though this time the kind that followed a three day marathon of creation.

Loki finally enlisted the help of J.A.R.V.I.S., reasoning that Anthony's creation was sure to know when he was done working. The AI had been evasive lately though, not answering some of his questions about Anthony or his recent projects. It wasn't normal,  especially since Anthony had long ago given him access to all his projects and files. What exactly was going on, Loki had no idea, and he didn't like it at all.

“ _ Sir, as you requested, I am informing you that your partner has finished his latest project, for once and for all, and has not yet started another one.” _

Loki once again steeled himself, and teleported to Anthony’s private lab.

He was facing one of the tables, one with a long object on it, when Loki first appeared.

“Anthony,” Loki called.

Immediately, Anthony turned, a large smile on his face. Another odd thing. Even throughout this entire ordeal, Anthony had never acted like anything was wrong. It was as if he wasn’t aware of what he had been putting Loki through.

But then— upon some private realization— Anthony immediately grew frantic, and tried to cover the object behind him. “What are you doing here?” He said, sounding rather frantic.

Did Anthony really think so little of him that he now wanted Loki nowhere near him?

But then… why the immediate reaction of a smile?

No— no, it was a learned habit, nothing more.

“I’ve come for an answer,” he replied.

“Um…” Anthony said.

“Are you going to tell me?” Loki sounded sharp in his retort, and he almost regretted it for an instant. Nevertheless, he strove on.

Anthony looked confused and bewildered, a furrow appearing between his brows. “Tell you what?”

Loki had thought better of Anthony— that he couldn’t possibly be this callous. Obviously, he had been wrong.

Loki took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. “I’ve come to ask for your response— is it yes or no? It’s been weeks since I— since I proposed.”

“As um, as in, as in marriage?” Anthony asked, sounding panicked. Maybe-? But no. “Um. I— I, uh— I don’t remember that?” He continued

“Yes as in marriage, what else exactly is there to propose?” Loki retorted. “As I said, I asked you weeks ago.” 

“Um… the only thing it’s been weeks since,” Anthony paused, “is when you gave me the golden apple.”

Loki raised a brow, and finally saw a light begin to shine behind Anthony’s eyes as realization dawned.

“Oh,” Anthony gasped. “Oh shit.”

Loki closed his eyes. “Quite.” And then he teleported.

All this time—  _ all this time! _ During the entire last five weeks, Loki had felt his heart crumble and crack more every day, while Anthony hadn’t even known it was under stress. He arrived at his destination, collapsed to his knees, and nearly broke down right then and there, with his head in hi hands.

It seemed he had unconsciously sought out the place that had once held the greatest comfort to him— his mother’s rose garden, all the way in Asgard.

Loki had once been banished from Asgard, on pain of death if he dared return, but that punishment had been revoked in the wake of recent events, namely the slaying of Thanos and his army.

Thanos had attacked both Midgard and Asgard, so as to split forces between the two, and not allow either to be at their full strength in the process of helping each other fortify their defenses. Thanos hadn't counted on the possibility that Odin wouldn’t imprison Loki for his crimes, and instead send him to Midgard as he did Thor. Of course, Odin had meant it to be much more permanent, and not end happily in any way, but Loki wasn’t a Trickster god for nothing.

Even so, Loki hadn’t visited Asgard since right after the attack, and that was to accept his pardon.

“Loki?” A feminine voice called.

His head whipped up, and through a blur of tears he saw the vague shape of his mother. Loki keened softly, and once again covered his face, this time hunched further over the ground.

He heard a low thump besides him, and slender arms enclosed him in an embrace. “Shh, Loki, dear heart, shh. Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I don't know if I can, Mother,” Loki said, a tremor in his voice. “I think— I think I’ve ruined everything.”


	3. Finally, They Get Their Act's Together

Frigga had long been Loki’s rock, and an anchor point of sorts.

Of course, recently Loki had depended almost solely on Tony, and maybe that had been a mistake.

Loki couldn’t regret it though. He lifted his head until he was no longer looking at the ground, and simply stared at one of the garden walls, seeming to look even further off than that. “Mother, what have I done?”

Frigga stroked a soothing hand down his back, trying to comfort him. “Darling, what could you have done that would ruin anything irreparably?”

“I may have…” Loki paused, and cleared his throat, “proposed to Anthony, and not told him, because I thought he understood the medium through which I was doing it.”

“And how did you do it?” She asked.

Loki chewed on his lip for a moment before answering. “With a golden apple.”

Frigga’s immediate reaction was one that would have embarrassed Loki if he had seen it, what with her expression growing softer and fonder, and while he was still looking away, she didn’t bother to hide it. “Are you sure you’ve ruined anything?”

“Mother!” Loki retorted. “He had no idea what I was even talking about when I finally asked for an answer— meanwhile, he didn’t even know there was a question in the first place.” He wiped away unshed tears and tear tracks alike, trying to hide his frustration. He had managed to ruin his entire relationship— it being one of the only ones he had ever truly cared about as well— and it angered him to no end. He needed a solution, but didn’t know where to turn.

Frigga seemed to realize Loki’s thought process, and asked, “Would you like some advice, dear?”

Loki tried to not appear desperate, but it had been a lost cause since appearing in the garden. “Please, Mother. And— and thank you.”

“The only thing I can say for you to do, is to go talk to him.”

He sighed, and at long last started to lean back into his mother. “But how?”

“Go back to him,” Frigga replied, “and explain the problem. Then apologize.”

“But-”

“Loki,” Frigga interrupted, “Anthony is very much in love with you, and I personally wouldn’t be surprised  _ at all _ if he had planned to propose to you soon as well.”

Looking downcast once more, Loki wondered to himself how he had managed to doubt Anthony so much. He had thought that his partner hadn’t cared for him at all.

It was disheartening to think that he had immediately jumped to the conclusion of Anthony being so callous as to not say anything. He could hardly keep quiet about his latest scientific endeavor, how could Loki have thought he would keep quiet on marriage either?

It was a wonder that Anthony had decided to stay with Loki this long, at this rate.

_ Enough of being soft and weepy _ , Loki thought. It was finally time for a- a confrontation of sorts.

He took a deep breath, and finally replied. “I suppose you’re right, Mother.” He rose to his feet, and bit his lip again. “Thank you, by the way,” Loki said, feeling slightly awkward. “I don’t know exactly what I’d have done if I hadn’t managed to talk to you.”

“Probably be melodramatic and suffer in melancholic silence.”

Loki mock glared in response, and Frigga chucked. “Too much?” She asked, her face the picture of innocence.

He rolled his eyes in return, and hugged his mother in one quick movement. “Goodbye, Mother. And hopefully you’re right.” Once again, Loki closed his eyes to teleport. This time however, the last thing he saw was his mother’s smiling face, instead of his partners confused and shocked face. It was a welcome change.

* * *

 

Loki arrived in the same lab as before, hoping against hope that Anthony was still there. A fruitless one, as it turned out, seeing as the room was perfectly empty when he arrived. It had been a vain hope anyway. Loki had just hoped he wouldn’t have to actively seek out his partner, and accidentally happen across one of the other Avengers. Some of them were still not quite… accepting of their relationship, and if he ran across Thor, who knew what might happen. Depending on if Anthony had gone to Thor for help or not, many things could happen.

“J.A.R.V.I.S.?” Loki called, nervous despite that fact that he knew in the back of his mind that Anthony most likely hadn’t removed him from the database of users. 

“ _ Yes, Sir? _ ” J.A.R.V.I.S replied.

“Can you- would you please direct me to Anthony?” Loki asked.

It was truly a wonderful thing that J.A.R.V.I.S. didn’t have a physical body at times. Well, one that wasn’t made entirely of metal that is, since he could technically control some of the Iron Man suits. Because Loki was absolutely certain that if J.A.R.V.I.S. had been able, he would have been staring daggers at him.

It wasn't a pleasant sensation.

“ _ Of course, Sir. Just follow these directions. _ ” He replied, and displayed a holographic map of the tower, with a route displayed in neon yellow.

It displayed a path that would have taken Loki directly through Thor’s quarters, and that way was not an option. At all. Thor would either try to— literally— knock some sense into Loki, or would try to comfort him, and the latter was by now unnecessary. The former was obviously absolutely and totally unwanted.

“Could you possibly, erm,” Loki paused for a moment, trying to find the right words for the situation, “just tell me, where Anthony is?”

“ _ Again, Sir, of course. _ ” This time, a single blinking dot appeared on the map, high above where he actually was. Anthony it seemed, was in the penthouse.

_ Well, this shall either end in happiness, or existential despair _ , Loki thought.

Trying, again, to delay the inevitable, he took the elevator. Anything to delay what was to come. Misunderstandings tended to lead to shouting matches in any altercation that included himself or Anthony, but especially between the two of them. In the early days, pre-romantic relationship that is, mutual pining had left them both slightly on edge around each other, leading to odd phrases and strategic avoidances. If something was said that was too revealing, provocation from either side was the best way to distract the other from said information.

Even when their relationship had started, sometimes feelings were too exposed, nerves too raw, and fights erupted from further secrets being kept. The first few weeks had been… hectic.

After though, they had smoothed out, and everything had been— good. Not perfect because no relationship was actually perfect in any way, shape, or form, but it had fit them.

Loki was grateful beyond measure for that.

If perfection had been expected of either of them, only the Norns knew how quickly that pressure would have broken them.

The elevator finally arrived at the penthouse level, and for once in that last few weeks, Loki wasn't worried and panicked beyond measure. He felt level, like his body knew that everything would settle, and for once work out to some semblance of order. It was reassuring on several levels.

What was not reassuring was the sight that he beheld upon entering the room.

Expectations and reality usually differ, in small or large measures often enough that Loki really should have thought about the fact that alcohol was Anthony’s best friend in times of emotional turmoil if Loki wasn’t available.

This had been one of those times, quite obviously.

“Anthony,” Loki said, voice soft, in the hope that Anthony might not hear him in his drunken stupor.

Anthony inhaled, sharp and sudden, and jerked his head up from the back of the couch that he was laying on.

“Lokes?” He mumbled. “What’re you doing here?”

Had-  _ had _ Anthony meant to remove him from the list of people allowed access to the tower? No matter what Loki tried to do, even with extensive magic that he hadn’t displayed around J.A.R.V.I.S., if Anthony hadn't wanted him in the tower, there would be nothing he could do to stop that from happening.

“Am I not supposed to be here?” Loki asked, nervousness creeping back into his body, making his stomach roil.

“No, nonono,” Anthony replied, slurring his words. “Just. You left, ‘nd I couldn't find you and then Thor! Thor said I hurt you and and, and I didn't know what to do, or how to get you to come back or—” he finally broke off and took a deep breath. “Lokes, Loki, I’m sorry, so so sorry.”

“Anthony, it’s— it’s alright. Really.” Loki said, trying to calm Anthony down.

He started to struggle to stand, and Loki rushed to stop his partner. 

“Anthony— Anthony, no, calm down, it’s alright.” Loki tried to placate him, but he didn’t know if it was working. “You didn't know, it’s ok, I understand.”

Tears were welling, and Loki never knew what to do when Anthony started to cry. It was awful, and painful to watch, and no matter what he did, he always thought he was doing something wrong. They needed to have actual conversations at that moment, and drunk-Anthony simply couldn’t do those.

“Anthony I think it’s time you went to bed.”

He sniffled, and nodded. “Okay,” he said, his voice still thick.

“Come on, come here,” Loki said, “I’ll help you to bed.” He gestured for Anthony to stand, and once he was up, Loki teleported them to the bedroom. Possibly not the best solution what with his partner being intoxicated, but trying to maneuver a drunken adult through a full apartment was never easy, no matter how familiar one was with the surrounding environment.

Once Anthony was settled in the bed, undressed as much as was possible with mostly uncooperative and sleep deadened limbs, he grew distressed again, and gripped Loki by the forearm. 

“Stay?” Anthony asked, eyes wide and playing with his heartstrings. “Please?”

“Anthony,” Loki said, “I’ll always be here. For the rest of our lives, if you’ll let me.” With that, he laid down behind his partner, and held him tight to his chest.

_ Please let this be alright in the morning _ , Loki prayed, even though he didn’t know to whom.  _ Please just, let it all be ok. _

* * *

 

Throbbing pain was Tony’s first sensation upon finally waking up.  _ God, what the fuck happened last night, _ he thought,  _ I don't think I’ve drunk enough to actually feel a hangover in ages. _

He felt a familiar weight around his waist, and rolled over, trying not to disturb Loki’s arm from its position around him. That’s when Tony  finally remembered.

Loki’s eyes bored into his, a deep furrow between his brows. “Are you awake for sure now? No more drunken rambling?”

Tony cringed, and he said, “God, it was that bad?”

“Yes.”

Tony buried his face into the join of his partner’s neck and shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “So, so sorry. I thought— I thought I’d gotten better about controlling myself, but then you disappeared, and I was worried that you’d never come back, especially since I basically ignored you for weeks and—!” 

Loki quickly placed a hand across his mouth, effectively silencing him for the moment. “It’s alright, Anthony. I thought you knew what it was, and what it meant.” He huffed a small laugh and said, “misunderstandings abounded these past few weeks, and it was mostly my fault.”

“Well,” Tony tried to retort, but his mouth was still covered.

“No,” Loki said, “it was, and I’ll not hear anything against it. I'm always too prepared to think the worst of any situation and of anyone, this was a lesson that I needed to learn.

He glared in response, and finally jerked his head away from the hand that was silencing him. “If I’d tried to talk to you too, a lot of shit would have been solved.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “How so? You were working the entire time that I was thinking you were subtly rejecting me.”

“Well, I mean,” Tony started, “I did kind of start a proposal gift for you? So, yeah?”

At that, Loki did actually laugh, out loud, as clear and as strong as a bell. Tony’s entire body relaxed at hearing it for the first time since this entire fiasco had started.

He grinned, eyes alight, and chuckled for a moment himself. “Not that I'm complaining, but why the laugh?”

A small smile appeared on Loki’s in return. “I spoke with my mother, before I came back last night.”

“You went to see Frigga?” Tony was beyond shocked, he had thought Loki would never step foot on Asgard willingly ever again.

“Not quite by my choice, but yes.”

“Not by your choice?” Tony repeated, growing more worried by the second.  _ What had happened? _ He was wondering if maybe the world had ended while he drank his sorrows away.

“I teleported to my mother’s garden more out of emotional attachment distress than an actual conscious wish to go there.” Loki said. “I happened upon my mother there, which I'm growing more grateful for by the second.”

“I’m guessing you two talked?”

“Yes,” Loki paused. “She… helped me straighten some things out. She also said she wouldn't have been at all surprised if she learned that you were also planning to propose.” His grin could have lit the entire room once he finished his sentence. “And your half asleep self, upon waking in the middle of the night, was delighted to tell me what you had been working on the last few weeks.”

Tony buried his face into Loki’s neck once more, face blazing. Why he was blushing over this, he didn't quite know, but it seemed that Loki found it beyond amusing.

His partner dropped a kiss into his hair and whispered, “I love you, so, so much.”

He froze, and even though they’d said those words for the first time months ago, it was more breathtaking than ever before, because now Tony knew how much he actually meant it.

“God, Loki,” he sighed. “How did we manage to fuck this entire thing up so badly?”

“Because we were worried that our fully committed partner wouldn’t return the sentiment,” Loki said, his inflection dry as a bone.

“True,” Tony said, pursing his lips. “We’re both absolute messes.” He paused for a moment. “We should work on our respective self esteems, but. Self care is a bitch, amiright?”

“It really is, isn’t it?”

“Yep.” Tony lifted his head once more, looking speculative. “So where the hell is my apple? I could eat right now.”

Loki’s face lit up like the sun, and it was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen, bar nothing. He twisted hi wrist and summoned it to his hand immediately before his face became downcast and drawn once more.

“Tony, this won’t— it won't be temporary, it will be for the rest of our lives, and that will be very long indeed.”

Now it was Tony’s turn to raise a brow. “Loki, I spent the night first getting an epic societal lesson from Thor, then spent the rest of those hours you were gone getting drunk off my áss because I was so  upset by the possibility of you not coming back.”

“And? People change over time,” Loki retorted, “I certainly have.”

“Yeah,” Tony responded. “We both have. For the better though.”

Loki still looked nervous, and seemed to be withdrawing more by the second.

“Look.” Tony started. “Before any of this happened— pre-everything, pre-New York, pre-Iron Man, pre-Jötunheimr, do you think we would have worked?”

Loki looked like he was trying to find a way to refute that statement, but couldn't.

“Do you?” Tony repeated

“No,” Loki said, sounding beyond reluctant.

“Then it needed to happen,” Tony said. “And I want that apple now.”

Loki handed it over, and stared as Tony sat up, then quickly and efficiently ate it in just a few minutes.

“Well, I don't feel any different,” Tony said. “Though my headache is gone, which is cool.”

Loki shrugged, still looking up at him. “You probably won’t feel anything major for a few hours yet.”

Tony nodded. “Well, now I just feel kind of awkward. What are we gonna do for the next few hours?”

A sly smirk spread across Loki’s face. “I’m sure we can think of something.”

* * *

 

“So where is it?” Loki asked, hours later, while the two of them were laying on the couch together in their usual position— Loki laid out on his back, arms wrapped around Tony as he lay between his legs, head resting on his chest.

He lifted his head now, and looked at Loki. “Where’s what?”

“The staff you were making for me,” Loki said, and raised an eyebrow. “What else?”

“What if I don't want to tell you?” Tony asked. “After all, you may have proposed, but I haven’t. And I worked really hard on that thing.”

Loki smirked. “So what? We’re already technically married in Asgard, seeing as the apple was a proposal to start a family as well, which only married couples do. Are you saying you want to go through the long, drawn out mess of planning a wedding, weathering paparazzi following us even more than before, and then finally going through with a ceremony?” He sounded— not quite shocked, but most definitely amused throughout his entire question.

“Of course I do,” Tony replied in all seriousness. “People have doubted us since we came out officially as a couple, saying it was a scam, or a way to make your public image better. I want the world to see we’ve been telling the truth this entire time.”

Loki stared at him in shock, eyes wide. Tony wondered how he could still have doubts, even after the events of night before, and that morning.

“Loki, when are you going to get that I want to be with you forever?” Tony asked, before Loki could even think to respond.

“Anthony, I— I do know, it’s just,” Loki stared off, and worked at gathering his words. “I can’t quite accept that you want me, for some reason— I just. I can’t accept it.” He looked back at Tony, eyes worried, and his mouth pursed.

Tony hurried to reassure him. “No, Loki, I get it too.” He huffed out a sardonic laugh. “We’re both pretty messed up in the relationship department, aren’t we?”

“Yes, we are,” Loki said, looking downcast, and averted his gaze from Tony again.

“Hey, no,” Tony said, lifting himself up onto his forearms, caging Loki and forcing him to look at him. “None of that now.”

“Tony—”

“No, we deserve this, we’ve been through too much shit not too.” Tony interrupted, voice growing stronger with every word. “We’re gonna get married, stick it to the homophobic public, and then rock out the rest of our virtually immortal lives.”

A small, relieved grin appeared on Loki’s face. “Anthony, have I told you I loved you yet today?”

“Yeah, you have.” He nodded. “But I like hearing it anyway.”

The grin bloomed into a full on smile, and he looked beyond ecstatic now, smile lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes. “Good. Now I get to say it to you for millennia, instead of just a few decades.”

“And I’ll be saying it right along with you,” Tony responded. “Now, are we gonna plan that wedding or not?”

Loki laughed, a joyous sound that he would never get sick of hearing, and he knew they would have their fairytale ending.

There was going to be the eventual issue of Odin of course, but together they could face anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the first chapter was kind of stiff? But I feel like I got better as I wrote.  
> I honestly thought I would barely hit the word limit when I started writing this lmao.  
> Also, please let me have my soft emotional frostiron. Ok. That is all.  
> Btw, for those of you that are curious, the staff is still in the workshop.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was fun now, wasnt it?
> 
> This was the longest thing I've ever written actually? And I'm super proud of what I did, and how i executed it. also the first time I've written anything for this pairing and fandom, so if its bad, pleeeease don't kill me.
> 
> Again, links to the art, bc the artist deserves just as much credit, if not more, for this fanwork
> 
> Links to art:  
> [tumblr](http://nonexistenz.tumblr.com/post/159728352057)  
> [AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10601100)
> 
> Leaving a comment or kudos would be amazing of you, bc then I could beat back the writer's block wolves who haunt me in the depths of my head.
> 
> It would be much appreciated.
> 
> Also, come yell with me about these two idiots on [my tumblr](http://sentient-teapot.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And hey- thanks.


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